Best-Laid Plans

Well, there's been a bit of a hiatus since my first post, but I think you'll forgive me. The following is an account of what happened in the next few days after the previous post. I'm leaving out lots of labor details, but if you aren't up for a childbirth story you might want to skip to the end of this one. Conversely, if you'd like to know more I'm happy to talk more about my experience.

That first post went up on the evening of January 15th. The next morning, I went into labor. This was quite a surprise, since the baby wasn't due till the 20th and conventional wisdom told us that first babies are usually late. So much for banking on convention! We rested as best we could on the 16th, until the contractions intensified to the point where we were told to head to the hospital. We got there around 10:30pm and were joined shortly thereafter by Amy and my mother (who moved heaven and earth to get there a day earlier than originally planned once we called her to tell her things were underway).

Everything looked good when we checked in and labor progressed well until, sometime in the wee hours of Jan. 17th, things stalled. The baby hadn't descended as far as we'd expected it would by then and I had stopped dilating. We tried various things and had some progress, but time wore on and not enough had happened. Everyone was exhausted. I decided to take some pain meds to help me keep trying. A while later, totally out of energy, I opted for an epidural in order to get some rest. Those were hard decisions, since I had hoped for a natural childbirth. Labor rarely goes as planned, however, and I desperately needed to sleep. I rested for two hours that afternoon. I think my support people got some sleep, too.

When I woke up I started trying to push. Everything was going well, until the doctor realized that the baby's head was turned at a funny angle and that was keeping it from descending. She turned it, but it turned back. She turned it again, but it turned back. Finally, after 30-some hours of labor and many changes of plan, the doctor told us that she thought the best thing to do would be to deliver the baby via c-section. I was sad and a little frightened. This was not my plan at all!

Joseph came with me to the operating room and sat where I could see him the whole time. To be honest, I don't remember very much of the experience of surgery. They drugged me up and put a curtain between my head and my lower body so I couldn't see anything. I remember looking at Joseph, I remember feeling tugging sensations in my abdomen, I remember the doctor announcing that we had a baby boy and that I had a beautiful placenta (obstetricians give funny complements), and I remember straining to see my son across the room full of equipment and people when they took him to be weighed and measured. It wasn't long before Joseph brought our baby to me, but it seemed like forever. Finally, I could see him and kiss him. After that, I think I fell asleep for the remainder of the surgery. Joseph tells me he took the baby back to our delivery room and held him for his first hour. Our sweet baby waited patiently for me. Joseph and my mom say his little mouth never stopped moving, questing for his mother, but he did not cry.

When they brought me back to the room, I finally got to hold and feed my little boy. I was shaking so hard from surgery and pain meds that it was difficult to concentrate on anything, but I remember the doctor telling me that the baby had a dimple in his cheek, just like me. We also learned that our tiny baby was not so tiny after all. He was 10 lbs, 14oz and 22 inches at birth. Good heavens! He must have been very crowded.

They moved us up to a room where we would spend the next three days recovering, getting to know one another, and enjoying visits from close friends and family. Joseph and I named our baby boy Rune Kai Ritchie. Rune for ancient Scandinavian writing (full of meaning and magic and story), Kai for the Hawaiian word for Ocean and the Scandinavian word for "Keeper of the Earth". Ritchie because that's his dad's last name and that is usually how names work in this country.

I will always be a little sad that I missed the first hour or so of my son's life and for all we had to go through to get him here, but I will always be grateful for the care I was given at the hospital and for my wonderful, loving, knowledgeable support team. Between my mom, Joseph, and Amy I had the perfect combination of support through the process. Each person filled a niche in a way no one else could have. I was going to love them forever anyway, but here's another reason.

The weeks following Rune's birth have sped by, each day filled with learning how to nurse, changing diapers,  washing diapers, trying to grab sleep where we can, and introducing our little guy to his new world, his family, and our friends. He is healthy and strong and continues to grow. He's almost five weeks and fits most comfortably in clothes meant for three-month-olds. His big brother has proven to be even sweeter and more attentive than we'd hoped. Joseph is transitioning back to work, and I have about half my leave left.

As we adjust to our new life together, I hope to find more time to write here. It won't all be baby stuff - plenty of other things have happened and it will eventually balance out - but Rune's birth seemed like the most important thing to chronicle this time.

Many thanks to everyone who has sent gifts, help, cards, and good wishes our way. We appreciate them and look forward to thanking you in person. Right now I have a restless baby - he's been sleeping on my lap as I write this. I'd better go see what he needs.

Talk to you soon!

A Time of Anticipation

My maternity leave officially began yesterday, and Joseph and I have been making a concerted effort to balance productivity, rest, and recreation. That has made for some great outdoor adventures, a trip to Target, not quite enough household chores, and some long naps. The impending birth of our child has also made this a very sweet time. I feel very much in love with my husband and very fortunate to have his particular blend of tenderness, support, and silliness in my life.

So that's the status update. Now for the organizing principle. In the last year, our family has struggled through Jack's leukemia journey together. We've grown as individuals and as a small unit, but the (ongoing) journey would have been immeasurably harder without the support of friends and family near and far. One of the very best things to come out of Jack's illness is his Caringbridge journal. We parents have posted updates on Jack's progress and enjoyed comments from caring folks. That journal has helped us all feel closer, not only to Jack's story but to each other.

My family has always been spread around the country, and Joseph's is mostly in far-off Wisconsin. In our daily travels we've made friends who live all over the place. No matter how much we want to keep in touch, it can be hard to maintain the closeness and sense of family we'd like if we aren't a regular part of each other's lives.

Having felt the benefits of Jack's journal, I thought that the birth of a new family member could in part be heralded by the beginning of a new family journal. Through this central meeting place, we can share stories of  our little family. Triumphs, disappointments, beautiful moments, and all. Here, family and friends in New York, Wisconsin, Colorado, Texas, Washington, Vermont, Hawaii, and even those near us in California can check in to see what we're up to. Comments and updates from all of you are also very welcome.

I don't think we'll post more that a couple times a week, unless something really exciting is going on. We'll see, though. What we have before us is an experiment. I have some time off from work to look after the baby (once it shows up) and maybe some time to form new habits, like writing regularly. Thanks for checking in and helping this journal find a shape and purpose.

All are welcome!
-Ellie